Rethinking Music Practice: Helping Kids Build a Joyful Relationship with Music
- Carla Tanguay, MA, MT-BC
- Oct 20
- 5 min read
At Modulations Therapies, we believe music is an accessible source of joy, exploration, and growth for everyone. It is both a skill and a pleasurable activity. In order to improve the skills involved in making music, many people utilize our services in the form of music lessons.
Music lessons strengthen skills and can, in turn, deepen our enjoyment and benefit. Yet somewhere along the way, that primary purpose can get lost. We start to believe that we have to practice because we take lessons, rather than remembering that we take lessons in order to improve our playing and our relationship with music.
To “improve” means different things to different people. For some, it’s mastering a difficult piece or preparing for a performance. For others, it’s learning to express emotions, to focus, or to become more fluent in the language of music. Whatever the goal, defining why you are taking lessons is essential. Even for young children, connecting to that "why" keeps making music meaningful.
This Fall, I surveyed students and their parents about their lessons and home practice. Their responses echoed what I’ve always felt to be true:
1) We learn best when our individual personalities and needs are understood.
2) Clear, shared goals guide growth.
3) Enjoyment, connection, and relationship are at the heart of the process.
Parents told me their children thrive when lessons are consistent and well-prepared, and when music feels fun rather than forced.
That same philosophy extends into what happens between lessons. Home practice shouldn't feel like a nagging chore. Instead, I encourage families to think of it as music time, a chance to explore, reflect, and grow.
Empowered Students Lead Their Own Practice
In order to help students take ownership of their music time at home and reflect on their learning process, I created Music Practice Guides (available for download below) for both younger and older students.
Each week, students begin by identifying a goal. This might be about how often they play, mastering a particular song or passage, or preparing for an upcoming performance or duet. The goal reminds them why they are practicing.
For older students, we then break each practice session into three sections:
Warm Up: Together, we write down 3 warm-up ideas, from which they choose one each day. These might include playing a mastered song, working on scales or technique exercises, or simply exploring musical patterns or sounds.
Songs: We choose two pieces for focused practice that week. Students identify potential challenges and note strategies that can help. For example: using a metronome, listening to a recorded passage, isolating tricky measures, or clapping rhythms first.
Music Fun: Every session ends with “music fun.” Students choose from 3 ideas for exploration, such as music listening, games, improvisation, or songwriting. This encourages creativity and joy while reinforcing musical concepts naturally.
At the end of the week, students reflect on their experience.
What feelings came up during practice?
What went well, and where did they struggle?
What questions do they have for the next lesson?
When students come to lessons having thought through the past week, they essentially plan their next lesson. This gives them a sense of ownership and helps me tailor lessons to meet them exactly where they are.
Younger students set small goals, color in notes to mark progress, and reflect on how playing music makes them feel. It is a simplified version of the older students' guide, giving them practice in tracking their music making and reflecting back. In both versions, the focus is on musical exploration, emotional awareness, and building confidence and agency.
5 Tips to Encourage Music Making at Home
Here are five strategies, grounded in my teaching approach, that can make home practice more effective and less stressful. These tips emphasize intrinsic motivation to sustain engagement. Most importantly, remember that everyone learns differently, so adapt strategies to meet your child's strengths and challenges.
Keep sessions short and consistent. Practice doesn’t need to be long to be effective. Neuroscience shows that short, consistent practice builds stronger neural pathways than one or two marathon sessions. Breaks are actually a necessary part of learning! Aim for 10-30 minutes of music making (depending on age and ability), 5-6 days a week.
Make it fun and motivating. Motivation is powered by dopamine, the brain’s “feel good” chemical that reinforces reward and curiosity. Use novelty, variety, and choice to keep practice rewarding. Encourage your child to improvise, make up new lyrics, or play around with rhythms and sounds. Playfulness activates our reward system and builds intrinsic motivation. When kids have permission to explore, they often come back to their assigned pieces with fresh energy. Play keeps music fun and keeps kids curious and motivated. Other fun ideas include pattern-identification games, playing along with video or audio tracks, movement breaks, or practicing in a different room in the house (bathroom acoustics are very cool!).
Lead by example. One of the best ways to support your child’s practice is to model it. Let them see you working to improve at something, whether it’s playing an instrument yourself, practicing a sport or hobby, or learning a skill. Kids learn that practice is part of life, not just something adults demand of them. Show them that mistakes and persistence are part of the process.
Create a positive practice environment. Music thrives when it's woven naturally into family life. That might mean keeping instruments in a central spot where they are easy to access, setting aside regular music time, or simply showing interest by listening when they want to share. And recognize that not every day will go well. That's okay! Learning something new involves both success and struggle.
Empower your child to lead. Encourage students to guide their own practice and lessons. Help them see their teacher as a resource, as someone who provides new ideas and problem-solving strategies, not as an enforcer. Giving kids control can transform a struggle into an opportunity. Some of my students create their own weekly practice guides, unique to them. Some like consistency and practice at the same time every day. Others do better with variety, and develop challenges to "beat". When kids have control and clarity, they stay more engaged and take pride in their progress.
My role as a teacher is to show up consistently and prepared, to create lessons that are tailored to each student’s strengths, and to build a safe, encouraging environment where learning thrives. At home, parents can reinforce this by framing practice as a natural part of growing and learning.
At its heart, music is about connection: connection to ourselves, to others, and to the world around us. My hope is that every student I teach learns not only how to play their instrument, but how to challenge themselves, how to integrate music into many aspects of life, and to grow their connections.
Interested in reading more?
Music Lessons with a Music Therapist
Music for Health Aging
Sing Sing Sing